Song of Silence

Today I was reading about "SHIRDAKS", textile with symbols from nature, from KIRGIZIA. These symbols, stories... are called "the song of silence", because the women from Kirgiza don't need words, just their craft, to transfer stories to the next generation. 

This article inspires me to visit them one day, in the mountains, and "listen" to their songs. Central-Asia seems so interesting, and remote, and beautiful, and full of silence, which I sometimes miss in busy cities (and Flanders is 1 big city). (but I don't need to visit it soon; I like my new job haha)

They are very connected with nature... but I frown my eyebrows when I read a Dutch women exports this to Europe (and beyond). I think there is some ecological footprint in their craft... but I guess I should shut up, because I also leave some footprints by traveling. 

 I like their motive of the circle, with crosses, referring to the wind directions, but the circle referring to the fact you're always home, because wherever you go, you'll always bring yourself... and I think this idea suits nomads like them. Or other travelers, and explorers... or in fact everyone... who is connected.

Source & pictures: http://birgittadevos.nl/portfolio-item/verhalen-in-vilt

The Moon & the Woman

The moon is perhaps the most ancient symbol of the Feminine. The association between the changing phases of the moon, the seasons of the year and the life cycle of woman as virgin, mother and old woman or crone is the foundation of a mythology inspired by the experience of the moon as an image of the unfathomable mystery of life. The triune goddess is one of the earliest images of the divine. 

The moon was the greatest stimulus to the human imagination and a focus for contemplation, helping people to create a relationship with the invisible dimension of life.

~ Ann Baring 

Read more: http://www.annebaring.com/anbar06_div-fem.htm

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There are so many texts, poems and other literature using the moon as symbol of the Feminine, that it almost seems so pointless to write another text about the connection between this habitant from the sky, and our own body. Until... Last weeks, in my free time, during different train rides, my mind was part of the Budnitz' world of "If I Told You Once". It is a book about 4, maybe even 5, generation of women. The grandmother, Elena, is an amazing story teller, who tells stories as a sort of education, to make the women in the generations after her wiser, so they will not make the same mistakes. If she succeeds, I will not say. It is better to read this book, which tells, in sometimes a metaphorical, sometimes a raw way, more about being a woman. 

(c) Goodreads, one of my favorite sites

They say the fairytales were in their original version more horror stories, full of dark shadows and things I better cannot write public. People talked a lot with each other, told stories, used symbols... to try to explain, try to educate... so why not share all these texts about so primordial stuff like the connection between the moon and the woman. Maybe, one day, like Elena, I will help someone to make her more conscious about the linkage between her energy level, emotions and the moon. 

Travumentary: to inspire, not to educate

A friend and I left Belgium for 2 weeks to explore Israel, a place which inspires many people, looking for answers, and also ended up in Jordan, totally not planned.

I documented this travel, not to tell a story, or to give the answers I found, just to let people feel my experience, because visuals can say more than billion words. It is also an invitation to find your own story or answers.

Documentaries record events, facts... with the purpose to educate people. Travel promo films have the  purpose to make from people tourists, while I don't want people to be tourists, and look at cultures and countries as a far-from-their-bed-show. I also don't want to force a belief, or some facts... on people, because I think every person can educate himself. There is some freedom in real education.
So... I made the concept of Travumentary.

I wouldn't call this a documentary, or a promo film about Israel (and Jordan), but rather a TRAVUmentary: documenting a travel experience, to inspire people to travel more
... because traveling is exposure, and exposure is education, and education creates chances.

Here is a first version of my travumentary about Israel (and a bit about Jordan):

Watch here "Sunset in the Middle East"

Divine Images

“What would have happened if the aesthetic standard of our society had belonged to the collective unconscious of the great artists of the past?” the Italian artist Anna Utopia Giordano wondered. 
She took famous classic nude beauties of art history, and photoshopped them, like these pictures were going to used for advertisements of covers you'll find nowadays. There are standards in the world, accepted, about female beauty. These standards weaken the woman a lot, because it makes a difference between women. You cannot be beautiful if you attain these standards. Is it healthy? Is it possible for every women to become like the photoshopped ideal? 

It is kind of interesting to know how standards can poison the self-esteem of many women. I don't want to describe myself as the ideal or perfect woman, in all my Belgian modesty, but... sometimes I wonder why not. I look more to the left woman than the right. In some periods I would be the muse of many artists. Do I just have bad luck I am born in the wrong period? 

Since childhood I look to much into the mirror, trying to change myself, my body, in something else, something others want to see. I did a lot of sports. I had a period I ate only fruits for breakfast. And I lost weight... but still, even I had a more healthy BMI than ever, got a good physical condition, I thought I was too fat. The Romans had this expression: Mens Sana in Corpore sano. A healthy mind in a healthy body. It can go both ways. Even if you have a healthy body, a beautiful body, you still can feel miserable, and weak, and ugly, because the mind is tricked. It is maybe weak to let my mind trick me, but if you already as child are brainwashed by all the stereotypes of beauty you see on magazines, television, films... you wonder why so many women are feeling bad, and ask their husband -as in this famous cliché- or their ass looks to fat in this dress. 

Two years ago I went to Thailand, in a period when I I felt bad about my own body, my relationships, or the lack of relationships... also partly because I got recently dumped by a guy which I thought was going to be someone more. I went to Koh Phangan, and decided to take yoga, because "yoga people all look so happy, and ... he... maybe this can help me to make me stronger and happy, you know".  
I promised myself to subscribe for the closest yoga center in my neighbourhood. When I came back from the 7/11, with my bags full of groceries, I bumped into a notice board of a yoga school. I came closer, and my mouth felt open... when I discovered it was a tantric yoga center, and ... more... they were going to give a tantric sex workshop of a week about 2 days. I hesitated in these 2 days, because... is this not bad for a Catholic prude girl like me... but on the other hand... nobody knows me. So, in the last moment, I went to the yoga school and attended the lectures and yoga classes. Don't expect stories which would even blush Samantha from Sex and the City. It was more innocent. One of my big eye-openers was the quote of the lecturer that many women forget to really watch to classic paintings where goddesses, the ultimate beautiful women, are portrayed. Aphrodite, Venus... are not models with size 0, no, they have curves, and love-fat. They are mothers of Eros,  and still thousands of men, from beggars via artists to kings, worship them, because... this woman is a goddess, and knows everything about love, her fertility, desires... and uses what she has to gets what she wants, and Aphrodite, if you know your Greek myths, she mostly gets what she wants. 
Real beauty cannot be captured by physical features, because they change according to the standards made by time and culture, but real raw beauty you can find in any woman who founds divinity in who she is, and knows how to use it. 

So... for me both paintings, the one with the more curvy woman, or the more slender lady, are both beautiful, in a different way divine. 

source inspiration: Flavorwire 
source pictures: Anna Utopia Giordano  

The Heroine's Journey

Some of you will know the "Hero's journey" described by Campbell, which explains there is a structure, a same path, in all stories. From Star Wars, episode IV, until the eldest fairytale, the hero follows the same path. He is called to adventure, refuses it, meets his Obi-Wan Kenobi, then gets his adoption parents killed, and will leave Tatooine to defeat the Empire. Or like that.

But ... goes the same for female heroes? Are women and men the same, so they follow the same kind of journey? According to Maureen Murdock, there is a big difference. Many women, in this paternal world, think they should follow the path of the hero, and thereby split from their feminine nature, and are maybe successful in terms of their father's view, but never satisfied. Her book, "The Heroines Journey" gives a bit a psychological insight in how a woman can become her own queen. 

As part of research to make stories and screenplays more "right", I read this book, and made my notes, certainly because I would love to write about women, because... I am one myself, and I think women deserve more attention in literature and cinema. In fact... in general... but art is more my field, so I think I can start in my own field. 

There are 3 big parts:

I. Departure/ Separation

The woman is a bit imprisoned in her domestic environment. She feels the need to leave, but expectations from her society, or a bad mother, or a too good father, keeps her there. When she is called to adventure, it feels like death. The woman will be aware there is something loose in her life, there is something missing, she will dream about this black figure... but she will refuse the call. It is scary to leave your comfort zone and to reach for the woman you want to be... until she meets her mentor, who will help her to cross the first tresshold, so she will have already more experience of freedom dan before departure. 

II. Initiation/Descent (in the underworld)

She will experience a road of trials. Her heart will be hurt. Maybe she will experience a rape trauma. I have to think about Tess d'Ubervilles, who left her home, to work for  the real 'Ubervilles, and get seduced by the young son. This whole experience will mean her symbolic death. She will understand there is no white knight on a horse to save her, no father to rescue her... but that she has to deal with her own darkness. She will go in the underworld, to face herself. She will discover that each woman is her own mother, able to create and destruct. This whole initiation in her own darkness will give her the knowledge, will let her discover her own qualities, which will be needed to deal with the real world.

Like the girl in Brave: her real quest was to reconnect with her mother, because as many women, they become their father's daughter, and forget their femininity, even their mother, or the mother within them, because they think being "female" is weak. 

III. Return

Empowered, and yes, let me write this word again, empowered, the woman goes back, and destroys the problem within or beyond her. Maybe she will refuse to go back to her roots, because she likes to be the strong woman in the place where she found her strength, and is afraid that when she goes back she will return in old habits, but when she will finds the courage, she will release her creativity and find a way to make an impact. She will not rule, like a hero, but will help to build a close-knit community, a family... where people help each other, a world in a next phase... 

A real woman creates, and supports, and nurtures. Sometimes, people think housewives are foolish, suppressed, don't enjoy any freedom, but I have respect for the women who invest all their lives in nurturing their loves and family. Sometimes I wonder if it is good both people work hard in the family... because when will there be time to nurture, or to be nurtured? Nurturing does not mean slavery; it means touch, caressing, smiling, cooking... and sharing... and that seems a really beautiful end for any person, instead of a crown on a field full of blood and mud. 

Of course, I cannot summarize the book in one short blog. There are many different paths, different quests, different fairytales and myths, but I think Maureen makes a point by writing about a different journey than the one Campbell proposed many decades ago. 

What do you think? What is the heroine's path for a girl into a woman? 

Trees who look like Old Men

"For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. They are like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfill themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves.

(c) Guidance of Stray Souls, Kirsty Mitchell

A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live. When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. Let God speak within you, and your thoughts will grow silent."

I don't need to add anything. Herman Hesse used the perfect words to describe trees.

Reizen is een manier van leven, niet van ontsnappen

When I was doing my world travel, a friend wrote me at some point that I had to take care that I wouldn't fall in a depression from the moment I would return to Belgium, because "I seem too happy" in all my pictures and notes, and she and other people were worried I was escaping the real life. After a whole day walking in Valparaiso, I wrote this note on my facebook, to make clear that traveling is not escaping, but a way of living... and I looked up this status, because I feel it fits the blogs I wrote about Israel.

The Religion of Traveling, pt5: I am on a boat

When my friend and I were in Ein Gedi, an old travel buddy stopped  on his way to a music festival for a halfhour to meet and greet me. He introduced us to his friend, who invited us to stay at his boat in Jaffa, in the end of our trip. When they were gone, my friend and I were jumping and dancing as little children, so enthusiastic about the end of our trip. And even start singing this:

So, one week later, with salty lips from the Dead Sea region, and full of sand of the Jordan desert, we arrived in Jaffa, which is part of Tel-Aviv-Jaffa, and exists already for thousands of years. Tel Aviv is more designed for the newest generation of Jews, who came already back in the 19th century, after they have been expelled from their Holy Land for more than thousand of years. I don't say I support this migration; it is difficult to choose a side if both groups -muslims and Jews- have been living here, and have the roots of their history and culture here. Time and growing population merged the two cities together.  In the first day we explored Jaffa, and that evening my friend left Israel and me for her boyfriend's birthday party in Belgium, while I visited an old Israeli friend, who gave me a very interesting socio-geography excursion in Tel Aviv, and let me discover the different historic layers.

In the last evening I returned back to the boat, and was introduced to an old guy who proposed to do some night sailing. Unfortunately, the engine didn't work very well, so we had to return before sunrise. When that old man and I were sitting in the port, looking to the morning air, he told me he loved the ocean. "Every emotion leads me to the sea," he said. "When I am happy, or sad... I always feel running here." This old man lives and works on sea for many years, but he seemed a bit lonely.

I don't know if I would like living on a boat. At night, when everything is dark, the ocean seems dangerous. There is some power to steer a boat, like I did under the guidance of the old sailor, in the total darkness, and face all the emotions the ocean evoke, but there is not a total control. In the end emotions and other powers of Mother Ocean are more powerful than control and attempts for navigation.

When I left Israel after 2 weeks, I felt different. Not really sad. Not really happy. I faced many different beliefs, religions, and power of nature, like the earth and the water, but i the end I believe in the religion of traveling, where you meet people, get confronted with ideas, see the world, not via media, but with your on eyes, see stereotypes confirmed and also new stories... and that makes people grow. Religion is going back to the roots, going back naked, to be able to face the world and to grow... so for me meeting, traveling, exploring, being social... is the way of living.

School of Film

Since this weekend I am back in Belgium. I could have stayed longer in the Middle East, yes (and soon I'll write more about what happened to me in the last days,) but I had to be on the set in a school for the intro (which we filmed as last) for Hexa Mera's newest music video. The song is called "The Society has Failed", and is about the fact the Society has bad points, and people complain, but don't do anything, and rather pretend they don't know anything than really doing something, so the song calls for action.

4 of the band members, our assistant director (face turned away) and the boy who plays the lead

I was Director of Photography, and worked together with Miwako, a half Japanese, half Belgian student from one of the national film schools, who specialises in Direction Fiction. While she was in charge of producing and the choreography of the more than 50 extra's in this clip, it was my job to visualize her ideas. We decided to go for dolly tracks, to which add a lot of power, in my opinion. While the first shots are more static, when the emphasis is on the imprisonment of the mind, the shots become more fluid, and the power of the dollyshots get another dimension, when the main character, a small boy, the extra's... got more free during the song of the band. We also choose many shots from other height level than the eye, to make clear there is something wrong. 

The music video will be released in the same period as the release of Hexa Mera's first cd: February 2014. It is later than we wished, but the cd has to be re-recorded by more professionals. Hexa Mera is a metal band who played on Graspop (Belgium's biggest Metal Festival), won the Red Bull Music Competition and has more than 2800 fans.

UPDATE (Spring 2014): Here is the music video! Enjoy!

The Religion of Traveling, pt 4: Hospitality and other Treasurers from Jordan

During the weekend my friend and I explored Jordan. We were quite nervous . We expected many troubles and security checks at the border, and some strong big guy asking 1001 questions when we wanted to enter Jordan, but after crossing a border (with signs « there are mines » and sniper towers... ok this was a bit scary) we were welcomed by two custom officers, who said our host was a lucky guy, and asked us : « do you've something delicious for us ? » They were joking, and did not refuse to be on the picture with my friend. 

After waiting in the shadow, among taxi drivers, our host picked us up in his very nice blue jeep. He is an owner of a travel agency. He is an intense guy, with a warm heart, and showed us a lot of hospitability. He took us to a camp in the desert, where we danced with children and students from an university in Amman. He took care we could sleep in one of the tents, and got a great breakfast, like in a real Lawrence of Arabia movie. You know... The same day he took us into the Wadi desert, to show the house of this guy, stone bridges, showing his driving skills, which gave us a lot of adrenaline rushes, and brought us to Petra.

And yes... Petra... it deserves the label of a World Wonder ! Here is a picture of the Treasury. The only annoying part was the hassling: you will not find much peace, when you walk on the main road, because everybody tries to convince to take their horse, donkey or camel. 

But... it is all worth it. 

My travel buddy was laughing, because I was so amazed by all the geology. I couldn't stop filming, or taking pictures. The whole way to this famous typical postcard building (the Treasury) is Al-Siq, and is just a cooler alley in history, archeology and geology, and will take away all your breath. When you cross the Treasury, you'll come in more open space, and can admire the tombs, or ascend for one hour more to the Monastery, the second famous building.

We drunk tea with a woman in her tent, who invited us after to buy souvenirs, but we could leave without buying, and had instead a nice talk about her children (she got her first child when she was 13y old). We also talked with a bedouin guy. In Petra, apparently, you have bedouins and gypsies. The last group spoil the good reputation of bedouins, who would never ask money, like our host, who never asked money for anything, and even was offended when we wanted to pay. The tourism kind of spoils the people. Both groups tell bad gossips, to take tourists away from their rivals, so when hearing different stories like "they told I raped women, but I don't. It is just because they are jealous", which all went about how tourists are lured into loosing money or having sex, I don't know who to believe. I think it is very interesting to spend one month, with the bedouins, observe them, see how they found a symbiosis between modern technology and their traditional way of living in tents and the desert, and who they really are, behind the mask they wear when they try to sell souvenirs, or their donkeys. I cannot judge. I haven't been long enough in Petra, to understand what is really going on. In the end, my friend and I walked back, and saw how all the people packed their stuff, became more relaxed, and didn't talk anymore to us. It kind of gave us proof they have two different personalities: one for the tourists, and one for themselves. I think the best thing I can do as outsider is to have respect for BOTH personalities. Because... I also have different masks in my luggage. 

The Religion of Traveling, pt 3: Beauty & the Dead Sea Beast

For 3 full days and 4 nights, my friend and I were couchsurfing in Ein Gedi Kibbutz, which is one botanical garden. The atmosphere is totally different than in busy Jerusalem. While the latter is more a heavy Bach symfony, this place is more a Manu Chao song.

People share, know each other (in this small community), walk sometimes barefoot, all look free men, and not bound by religion. It is like living in the free paradise described in the famous book « the beach ». There are giant baobabs everywhere, and there is also some plant. Our host, a very easy-going guy, known by everyone, took us on the first evening already to a small look out point which is built out of respect for a dead friend, and under the stars he let us make music by drumming on some wind catchers. He also taught my friend about aloevera, which is everywhere. « It is almost like garbage in the botanical garden, » our host told her. My friend already took almost a whole plant, and put it in the fridge, because the sap of the plant can cure mosquito bites (which started to occur, when we went more southwards).

One day we visited the Dead Sea. Floating in the lowest place on Earth, is apparently very healthy. We got for free in the spa. No way how we did it. Or maybe a bit. We just ended up on the beach, in fact, not in the real spa, were floating there, and covered ourselves in mud. Everything for eternal youth, I guess?

The day after our host took us to Masada Fort. Very early in the morning my friend and I hiked up via Snake Path (name is because of the shape, not because it is full of snakes ; otherwise I would never take it), when the sun came up, and for many hours we enjoyed the history and archeology. While my friend dived in all the information, I dreamt how I would make an amazing romantic historical epos about the siege by the Romans, which ended when all the Jewish rebels killed themselves and their families, because they rather wanted to be free than slaves. I already decided to take a lot of epic helicopter shots, because the landscape is stunning : The salt, tectonics and the dry climate shaped some amazing features in the rock. Of course I also would work a lot with shadows, being lines of prison, to emphase the Jewish rebells were stuck. Yes, I can see this movie. I only need a good story, about love (maybe forbidden), and oh yes... money.

In the evenings and some mornings we share really interesting conversations with our host. He talks about his experience with the real religious people in Israel. We didn't know the religious people don't pay any taxes, and only pray. They got a lot of money from the government. In Antwerp, we've got also religious Jewish people, and they are quite isolated from the rest of our population. To be honest, I don't know anybody who has friends from that small island in my city. The religious people also don't go to the army, and our host claimed they were maybe the biggest enemy of the state, because they have their own court and rules. Sometimes, I wonder, what is Israel ? Also, in Jerusalem, we, or in fact my friend who read a lot about the coloniation of Israeli's in Palestine territory, had some discussions with our host, and although my friend likes to find strong arguments to make an opinion, I am still confused what to call Israeli, or what not. Jerusalem is totally different than Ein Gedi. In Jerusalem I couldn't relax, in Ein Gedi immediately, to give an example. In Jerusalem you've to dress like a penguin, here in Ein Gedi you can wear just your bikini... still... it is the same state, nation ? It is very interesting to hear stories, opinions... but at the same time so confusing.

On our third day, we went to the nature reserve. We hiked up via water fall to a look-out where we could admire the Dead Sea. My friend and I split up ; she wanted to refresh herself, and wanted to hike faster, while I wanted to take many pictures and footage. In the end, I hitchhiked with a guy, with his jeep full of yellow spots, with his hyperkinetic dog, the Dead Sea Beast I call it, who tried to push me out of the car. Or it seems. The dog was jumping to everything and everyone. When my friend and I were waiting for sunrise above the Dead Sea, and our bus to Eilat in the south, we met him back ; two times. He invited us to spend time on a local beach, but we had to move on. Our time in the Middle East is limited. The dog almost attacked my friend. He is quite a figure. Like our host. Ein Gedi is full of interesting relaxed people, all a bit quirky, but I love it.

I think these 3 days were full of nature, hiking, relaxing and beauty products. My friend and I bought enough mud to become real princesses with shining hair, but maybe it is not a good idea, because in the next days we go to a more « conservative » country. I don't know Jordan is very strict, and we'll have 'female traveler's problems ', but still... we don't know anything about the country, apart from the fact you can find Petra, one of the new World Wonders, there, and the idea it's the heart of the Middle East (neighbours are Syria, Iraq, Saoud Arabia...). We've got an Couchsurfing invitation from someone from Petra. I wonder which song will remind me to these country. 

Religion of Traveling, pt 2: What is Jerusalem?

My friend and I stayed for 3 days in Jerusalem, one of the most famous cities in the world. In ten minutes, we'll travel to the Dead Sea region for some hiking and exploring the healing powers of the lowest place on Earth, but first I want to write quickly about this city, which is one of the most intense places I have been. 

stilt from footage from the Western Wall, Jerusalem

So... Jerusalem... how to describe it? It is difficult. The best solution is just to ask you to meet my friend Google. He can give you 1001 different ways to experience Jerusalem. I am very sure. I love a challenge, so I thought about what is Jerusalem for me.

For some people, it is belief, for others it is history and archaeology, for more political involved people Jerusalem will be associated with the Palestinian conflict... 
I see Jerusalem as music for listeners who use more than only their ears. 

One of the most magical moment is when an amazing local young woman was our guide for some hours in the late afternoon, early evening. It was golden hour. We went walking down from Mt. Zion in the direction of the golden mosque. We saw a young man playing guitar for a young girl, on a wall, with Eastern Jerusalem (Arabic part), as a big grey background. We stopped. I made some footage (of course). And then all the lights went on, one for one, in this district, and then the big call for prayer filled the air. It all became one big music piece... all the religions, the beliefs, the colors, the symbols... 

Jerusalem is like a drum circle. You have different people, all with a drum, a message, and they all start to drum with different frequency, and maybe it does not sound right, but then the heart starts to give the rhythm... and then the heart of the circle, not from the individual, makes from all the sounds one melody, all the drums become in harmony, until it like one heart beat. It is amazing to believe that so different people, with different frequencies, habitants, pilgrims our tourists, all make one city. You cannot say you are from Jerusalem. You become part of Jerusalem's heart beat, and when my two friends and I were sitting there, listening to the call of the prayers, I felt I belonged there, in the heart of all these religions.

For me... belief is one of the most powerful tools. It does not have to be belief in a religion, but can also be hope for a better world, or belief in good things. Without belief things become very dark... 

Also, II'll edit all the footage I made, and make a small 4-5minute video, trying to explain how I see Jerusalem, in another way. I decided to choose for handheld, because the impressions are so intense, I feel fluid, shaky and short shots, or following people in alleys... are best representing my feelings of feeling a drop in a wild ocean. 

stilt from footage when walking in the Old Center of Jerusalem

The Religion of Traveling, pt 1 : Opinions and Stories

My first kiss happened to me when I was 17 . My first car accident, when I was almost 20. My first encounter with Israeli happened when I was 22. One of my friends, her brother and I were on an Caribbean island, owned by Honduras, for some diving courses. My instructor, who convinced me to go over my fear for drowning by diving beneath the surface of the big ocean, was from this nation. He had big grey eyes, I kept on focusing, when I took my first steps (sorry for the word) in Waterworld. On this pirate island we met also other Israeli, and spent some time with them. They were cool young people, with a weird accent, not the military people you see on the television around 7pm, or the dark people with curly hair, big black hats and coats, and all looking pale and selling diamonds in some neighbourhood in Antwerp. They looked like us. In many different meanings. One of the best quotes, an Israeli told me, is that when you sit with 7 israeli's on one table, you will have 70 different opinions.

I'll come later back on this quote. First...

Opinions.

The evening before I sit here, in the Starbucks of the Brussels Airport, enjoying my hot chocolate (I love my Belgian sweets), I was interviewed by a Master student, doing a research about female solo travelers. One of the questions she asked, was how traveling had changed me. After talking a lot, and thinking -also, yes- I realized I got less strong opinions. When I was 18 year old, just in university, I told everyone I was left-winged, loved Che Guevara, believed in communism... while I didn't know so much about it. You got confronted, during your life, with opinions, and the arguments behind it, with stories and life experiences... and then what I learnt, after hearing stories, reading, getting in discussions... is that I rather don't want to have an opinion. People say you're not strong if you don't have an opinion, but sometimes, in a world, where everybody is so free to share it everywhere on the social media what he thinks... I prefer not to have an opinion in everything, and just listen, and learn. I told the researcher I started to see the world from black-white to a more grey spectrum.

Even several weeks ago, in the mountains of Bulgaria, one of my close friends and I had a discussion about Israel and Palestina. She had an opinion. I didn't. I didn't know enough to have an opinion, certainly not about a place where I only heard and read stories, and even if I would go there, live there... I don't think I will ever know enough to have an opinion. I just am against the fact that innocents die on both sides, so I am rather against war than against a policy or a country. If you choose a side, you bond, yes, with all the others, on this side, against the other side, but if you're in the middle, maybe you're the biggest fool, yes, or maybe the bravest soul. I don't know. I don't want to call myself brave. What do you think ? I feel it is better if people rather don't have an opinion and spread it through the whole world, and give us more silence... but... not having an opinion doesn't have you don't know your values. Not to have an opinion opens space to listen, find more knowledge and stories... be as openminded as possible, and there where there are open minded people, you'll find tolerance. Or that is what I feel.

So, now, this close friend and I will embark on a journey, where we want to learn (more) about the conflict between Palestina and Israel, explore why Jerusalem is so important for three world religions, the culture of both entities, the food !, the nature, the geography, the water management of Israel, which is apparently the best in the world, and take my lessons back to Belgium, not necessarily to have strong arguments to build an opinion, but to bring back stories, pictures, film footage... to open dialogue for everyone interested.

And yes... religion will be a big topic in the blogs of next two weeks.

Did I already tell you that I hate flying ? It is ironic. I fly so much (I know this doesn't help nature and the climate so much), and still I cross my fingers, like I am going to pray, every moment the plane leaves the ground. I don't call myself religious. I am baptised as Christian, and did some Christian ceremonies, even today, on All Saint's I went to the graveyard, to put flowers on the grave of my grandfather. Still... I believe in something, and know the power of believing very well, but I don't believe in one Almighty person, I believe in the world, human and nature, and a future where they will find harmony. This belief keeps me going. Still... I am interested to learn more about other beliefs. There is some power in it, and if you want to understand power, you've to understand the roots. I like to be think in metaphors of trees, yes.

Whatever...

... first I need to enjoy this little piece of Belgium in my cup, and continue listening The Crystal Fighters. I love the song « Follow ». It suits the theme of choosing a side, yes, so worth to mention it. Besides this, this is just a great song of an amazing group. And yes... wait for my travel buddy. She seems to be a bit too late... hmm...  

Broomsticks & Bounty's

Daisy Meadows has one sister, called Rosie. Rosie is 5 years older then Daisy. When they were young, they played together with dolls, or wandered around in the forests and fields around their house. They often visit their grandfather, who treated them with Bounty's and other candies. He died when Daisy was ten years old. Cancer.
 When Rosie became 16 years old, she painted her hairs black and told her younger sister she did Wicca. Daisy wanted to know everything about it, but Rosie thought she was too young to get involved in witchcraft or philosophy. Behind the back of her sister, and also her parents, Daisy sneaked in her sister's room, when she was not home, and read her books, and even her diary, which Rosie called her "book of shadows". 

Little Daisy learnt that Wicca is one of the most important maybe one of the most famous- nature relgions which still happens in these centuries. Maybe it is more than a religion. It is also a philosophy, a way of living. It is about spirituality, but also about ecology. Nature, growth, harmony, strength, the connection with Mother Earth... is all celebrated by the new witches of this time. Maybe it is also a bit feminist. Daisy learnt about the origins. She learnt about the three forms of the Godess: the Virgin or Maid, the Mother, and the Crone, each symbolizing a separate stage in the female life cycle or the wheel of the Moon. 

There are 8 sabbats, or feasts. One of the most famous is Samhain, or better known as Halloween. During this night of the year, the veil between our world and the empire of the dead is the most thin. It is also the New Year, the feast of endings and beginnings, a time to stop mourning, and to forget bad memories, and keep the memories which make you stronger. The new year starts with the night, with the darkness. In ancient times, people counted winters and nights instead of days and summers, because in dark times you can grow the most, they believe.

Witches put extra plates on the table, during the dinner, with their favorite meal, and placed candles at the windows, so they beloved dead ones could find back their way home. They were not afraid for death. 

Also Rosie placed candles in front of the windows. Daisy asked her why, and after a small pauze, Daisy explained that maybe their grandfather would return.
"We need to get him back," she said.
"Is that why you became a witch... to get him back alive?" little Daisy asked. "Is that not dark magic?"
"No, of course not," Rosie said. "Will you help me?"

That evening Daisy put some bounty's on the window sill. She was disappointed when she found it back the next morning. 

Starry Sky

What I like about arriving HOME since a couple of months, 
is the STARRY SKY (sometimes). 
I saw a lot of skies, with more stars, and in whole the world, 
still... I love my own piece of starry sky the most.

it relaxes me every evening again, certainly when I came from work, by bicycle,
and are surrounded by the nurturing darkness. 

The future of Pakistan

Yesterday evening I attended a lecture, organized by MO*, about the future of Pakistan. They invited the journalist Omar Waraich, who writes for TIME and The Indepedent, and asked Shada Islam (journalist, active for Friends of Europe, and Dawn), Bruno de Cordier (from University of Ghent) and Khalid Hameed Farooqi (head department Brussels of GEO-tv, biggest tv channel in Pakistan) to join the panel afterwards. What was I looking for there? In Prague, I made two friends from Pakistan. Friendship brings you closer to the world. You become more involved, and even stop zapping the television if you catch a glimpse of a country where one your friends live, because you... just care. 

source: Lonely Planet

 "The most dangerous country"
 The associations are kind of known. Terrorism. Taliban. Extremism. Poverty. Neighbors of Afghanistan. Troubles in Kashmir. Darkness.  Maybe the most dangerous country in the world.

More than 180 millions of people are living in this country, which has the seize of 26 times Belgium, or 3 quarters of Europe. This year was the start of new transitions, for Pakistan, but also for the region (India, Afghanistan... you know, this region), because there were elections. The journalist Waraich gave us hope for a better future, where politics, now only positioned by millionaires, will be replaced by the urban middle class, and where the relationship with India can be improved. He started his lecture with references to the book "Descent into Chaos", which was later followed by "Pakistan on the Brink", and added if we come from chaos to already the edge, it means Pakistan is already heading a good way. He said that even when Pakistan didn't exist people believed it will not stay long. But it will be a long way, he said, because there are still big challenges like the intern terrorism. Every day there is a terrorist attack. You've also the increase of influence of wahhabisme, extreme conservative religious fundamentalists (yes, all the words which scare a lot of people) Sunni's who want to return back to the source of the Qu'ran. 

But... 

Let us first clarify that Pakistan is a country of extremes. It is also an extreme big country. Someone said that in Pakistan you can find parts which will remind you to Africa's slums, while others have French restaurants, art galleries, libraries... like in Brussels. Pakistan cannot be described in one a few associations. It is just too diverse for it, like you also cannot describe Europe in just a few words. Even for tiny tiny tiny Belgium I don't know any associations. 

The biggest hope, they all agree, is the growth of the middle class and civil society. Civil society, de Cordier clarified, is just more than only what Westerners understand as civil society, but also religious groups for example. And don't forget globalization: social media, but also Pakistani going abroad, bring back something: money,  critical consciousness... Shada believes Pakistan can grow, like other Asian countries, if the Pakistani identify with their country, are not indifferent and intolerant, and start paying taxes, so important things like education can be paid...

Education for girls
Yes, education. Maybe some of you heard about Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani girl, who came up for education for girls, after she is tortured, and speaks worldwide. 

If I remember the numbers very well, only 12% of the girls go to school. Shada emphasized a couple of times that if women in Asia (and also in Africa, Middle East...) not get empowered by education and more rights there is no growth possible for these regions. 

Since a year I think to become a teacher, or a coach, and besides my passion of film making, also educate young girls in nature, geography, the world, even their body... because helping to grow people feels more satisfying. I already figured out I want to use stories, and films, to educate people to make them more critical, but I also feel the urge to finally go back to university, and start my masters in geography, with a specialization in education. I think geography, and nature, can help so many girls, because understanding the environment also helps to understand yourself, because you start to read the patterns, and the motives in the world, and you accept yourself, because you're not alone, as part of the world. I am a bit ecofeminist, trying to help women and nature, but it is necessary. 

After the lecture, waiting for my train back home, I had a clear vision. I don't know if I will teach children in Pakistan, but I feel more and more I want to teach girls, because I can leave the world as a better place this way. Maybe in Nepal. Or Swaziland. Bolivia? Or even in Belgium. We'll see. 

It is a seed in me, planted a time ago, and growing and growing, and it becomes stronger. 

Like Pakistan. There are seeds. They only need to grow, before the poison of extremism and terror takes over all the land. But I believe...

sources: my own notes, corrected by what I read in the article in MO*, by Gie Goris (in Dutch)

The Secret of Sinterklaas

These days one of Belgium's most (fictional) figures is enduring a crisis. According to the UN, this custom of the Netherlands and Belgium is racist, because the servant of the old white man, the Dutch version of Santa Claus, has a black servant. Human Rights bodies say this custom is like promoting slavery. (Source: Telegraph) 

A very old picture of me and the holy man

As a Belgian person I have to give my story about Sinterklaas. This figure is an important man in the life of many children. Every morning of 6th of December (in Netherlands: 5th of December) until I was 11 years old, I woke up very excited, and ran downstairs to see the presents the holy man left behind, in change for the sugar, carrots and drawing I left in my shoe the evening before. We believed he came from Spain, by boat, and in Antwerp, every year, there is a big celebration in November, where Sinterklaas and all his servants arrive in the port. There are dozens of candies and oranges. He has a big book, which he brought to all big shopping malls, club parties, and read who was good, and who was bad. I am not good in remembering lyrics, but as child, and still, 14 years later, I can sing all the songs about this man, his boat and home country.

Of course there were the black servants. We called them "Zwarte Piet", which you can translate as "Black Pete". I was scared for them, because all "bad children" disappeared in their bags. I was a good child, but my younger brother and I had often small fights (as many brothers and sisters do), so my small child heart was always drumming against my chest, when Sinterklaas read all the names of the good kids. You never know.

For me, this whole custom has nothing to do with racism. Interested in mythology and witchcraft as teenager, I looked up the story behind Sinterklaas, and read a lot about his origins. The first thing I learnt, is not about his origins, but about his offspring: the American Santa Claus is a derivation of Sinterklaas. The Dutch brought their custom to New Amsterdam, future New York, and later Coca Cola used this figure to promote their drinks.

Ice berg model of culture, Hall (1976)

Sinterklaas itself comes from the old shamans, roles in society which existed before Christianity entered Western-Europe. Shamans were the mysterious figures, who were in touch with nature, and cured people. Sinterklaas is some old, dark figure, from ancient dark times. You can compare him with Pan, the Greek god with the horns. The Church tried to ban all pagan elements from society in the Medieval Times, so they "christianized" everything. They split the celebration of the shaman, in two figures: his bright, sacred side became a saint from Spain, and his dark, nature, passionated side became the dark Black Pete.
Sinterklaas is white, Black Pete is black. They cannot exist without each other, like yin cannot exist without yang. For me, they represent control and impulsive nature of people

Before you ban culture, or habits, because in the surface they look bad, you've to dive beneath the surface of the iceberg. Culture is like an iceberg, like Professor Hall described in his model. We are not racist. Black has many meanings. It also means passion, darkness, nature, the shadows of our soul...  Black Pete takes "bad chidlren" with them, but maybe "bad children" are more connected with nature than most children are. In these songs, bad is a word defined by the Church. Maybe my heart was not drumming so hard, because it was scared, but because it was excited to learn more what is hidden in the bag of Black Pete.
Like Alice fell in the rabbit hole.

I also wrote an article for EGEA about the Ice Berg Analogy of EGEA, which you can read here (2012):  
Beneath the Surface of the Iceberg

Hope

Since a couple of days I am addicted. This is the newest song stuck in my mind. Also the music video is amazing. The song is about hope, but the images, about young people stuck in their French rural life, is everything about hope. That makes the imagery so strong. Someone told me the best voice-overs in a film are the ones which tell about something you don't see in the images, because that gives it a double layer, a function in the storytelling.

My friend, who is making a short in Prague, I produced in the beginning of the project, shared this movie some weeks ago, and he has also the same theme of coming to age in a difficult world, where there is not really hope for a better future.

Last weeks, when I was not working for the Film Fest Gent, I directed, produced and co-edited a music video for the competition of GeneroTV and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Visual Okapi made  a music video, called "better days", where an old lady escaping her house in two different meanings of the word, looking for, or going back, to better days. I connect childhood in this project with fantasy, colors and joy. It has a sad part, namely that some things of these better days get lost, when you become old...  Still, a wise man said that who wants to improve, is declared very often crazy. And maybe we all need a bit craziness to find hope for a better future.

http://genero.tv/watch-video/36940